Seven Curses

1) May all your children have small penises - including the girls

2) http://www.mob.net/~ted/insult.php3

3) Thou reeky crook-pated flap-dragon!
Thou errant weak-hinged clack-dish!
Thou vacant shard-borne miscreant!
Thou pribbling crook-pated waterfly!
Thou tottering half-faced ratsbane!
Thou greasy hasty-witted pignut!
Thou haughty paper-faced hempseed!
Thou infectious hedge-born rabbit-sucker!
Thou roynish rump-fed hugger-mugger!
Thou puny flap-mouthed manikin!

4) You should own a thousand houses, with a thousand rooms in each house, and a thousand beds in every room. And you should sleep each night in a different bed, in a different room, in a different house, and get up every morning, and go down a different staircase, and get into a different car, driven by a different chauffeur, who should drive you to a different doctor --and he shouldn't know what's wrong with you, either.

5) May the cats eat the women

6) Colbert vs. David

7) "The work, condition or spirit has now officially opened a can of Whoop ass on you."

(with apologies to Heavy D)